A Buddhist Prayer on Forgiveness

"If I have harmed anyone in any way 
either knowingly or unknowingly 
through my own confusions 
I ask their forgiveness. 
If anyone has harmed me in any way 
either knowingly or unknowingly 
through their own confusions 
I forgive them. 
And if there is a situation 
I am not yet ready to forgive 
I forgive myself for that. 
For all the ways that I harm myself, 
negate, doubt, belittle myself, 
judge or be unkind to myself 
through my own confusions 
I forgive myself."

I intend to let go of things that hurt me, for I will find a peace in everything.



“Jangan sengaja pergi agar dicari. Jangan sengaja lari agar dikejar. Berjuang tak sebercanda itu.” - Sudjiwo Tedjo 


23:47 here

i'd like to become a person who actually deserves to be with someone like you. but you see now, i've changed so much. either it's better for you or bad for you. actually, i still look for you in everyone, until now. and none of them could arouse my heart like what you did.


"Portrait Of A Nebula"

I’m shitty at being honest,
But I want to be honest with you and
Honestly everything about you scares me shitless,
From the way your lips are still glistening with the aftermath of my anxiety
To the small of your back pressed softly into my hands.
I am so small when I am next to you,
Engulfed by you, infinite,
Falling into the back of your throat as your laughter swallows me,
Muffled and slow.
The sunset smears clouds across the sky with brushstrokes of light,
Painting the portrait of a nebula and
I swear to god you are every hue I’ve ever loved;
Just like that you are dust and gas compact into these atoms
I can’t fathom how the universe designed you.
I can’t think of the equations that led our lines to meet,
My hands are clasped in desperation that we can bend so that after
We intersect we will not have to leave.
My heart is a kick-drum slamming inside my chest to
The rhythm of your fingers running through my hair to the nape of my neck.
No amount of sound can touch me now
As I write this down,
Trying to pen you onto a paper. It’s the best I can do
In the stead of paint onto a canvas.
—  "Portrait Of A Nebula" - Nishat Ahmed


(I Think I Made You Up Inside My Head)

   Mad Girl's Love Song
Sylvia Plath
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"



Kalau kamu datang, aku berjanji tidak akan bertanya kenapa baru sekarang.

Kalau kamu datang, aku berjanji tidak akan membuatmu berdiri di depan pintu terlalu lama.

Kalau kamu datang, aku berjanji tidak akan bertanya, hati mana saja yang sudah kau lewati untuk sampai disini.

Karena dengan langkahmu. Aku terbangun, dari mati suri yang kunina bobokan sendiri.

Kalau kamu datang, tolong jangan pergi. Aku lelah menjaga pintu.

Kalau kamu datang. Aku berani sumpah, aku tenang.

 (by: Rahne Putri)
thanks for the author who made this poem even though this poem has made for about 3 years ago and i was so kudet(kurang update) by knowing this poem recently, this is what i want to tell to the world.



have you ever imagined meeting someone who understood even on the dustiest corner of your soul? 

have you ever fall so hard in love but in the end it won't be a happy ending and always leave you waiting? 

have you ever fall in love the same way twice but in the end they just fall for another?

i hope one day you will. i hope one day you will meet the one who understood you in so many ways who knows how fragile you are and can see the pain that you felt through your eyes then they make you a better and a happy person ever. and for the first time in your life you believe that they're the one that deserve you. it isn't wrong to have a dream like fairytale. it isn't wrong to hold onto the hope even though you've been let down in so many times, if you believe and trust that your dreams will come true sooner or later it will happen. make yourself a better person. ease all the pain in your mind. think about something that makes you feel better. and just believe... believe that everything was worth for a reason. so you'll know why something that can break your heart or can make you happy is happening. you'll know why God give those scene in our life story. so you can cherish every moment. find the one who you can possibly share your dreams to your story your silly wish your bad behaviour your crazy laugh your deepest thought or maybe your feelings that were hidden or not and the one who can truly fix your heart. FIND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTAND. i hope, i still hope...